I Really Fucking Hate Thomas Friedman

Winner of 57 Pulitzer Prizes,
Philosopher Tom Friedman

Honestly of all the pundits the one I can't stand most is Thomas Friedman. There are actually quite a few reasons not to like him, some can be summerized here by Lionel Beehner:

"Not because he went from globalisation bible-thumper to born-again environmentalist overnight — columnists are chameleons, cheerleading for whatever cause is hip that day. Not because his columns involve lazy journalism (ie quoting cab drivers), sloppy metaphors (pouring water out of broken vases and such), and a scary reliance on Johns Hopkins’ Michael Mandelbaum and an overused quip about how nobody ever washed a rental car … [but rather, because] he is given tremendous access to the world’s business leaders yet he is so utterly pathetic at questioning what they are up to." 

And that's accurate but it's not so much that and it's not his political views. It's how obnoxiously generic and unoriginal his views are and yet he considers himself (and is considered) an intellectual messiah.

Thomas Friedman is the epitome of conventional wisdom, a Frankenstein of every generic opinion put together and then revered as wisdom with his cartoonish three-time Pulitzer Prize victory.

In fact, lets break down how generic his views are:

Globalization 

Friedman loves Globalization™ a whole lot, it's this mind altering, breath taking thing that's completely changed the world in every way imaginable. With the breakthrough of the internet and cell phones, the world is at a completely level playing field ("the world is flat") and countries in massive poverty can perform just as well as the U.S. because of iPhones and Twitter. He literally wrote a book on this, that through the magic of comparative advantage and the internet, a country like Sierra Leone is at a level playing field with the U.S. 
Oh also we need to outsource jobs and get rid of dem unions because we're globalized now what-with the internet and all. 

But really, skip listen to 0:15:39 where he compares himself to Christopher Columbus over and over again:

Terrorism   

We need to get real tough on terrorism and 9/11 happened because the Middle East is poor so all those Arabs are irrationally taking their anger out on the US because their a bunch of crazy people. Also in the 90s there was a "terrorism bubble" and we needed to pop it by invading a random Arab country (Iraq).  

Iraq War

"[T]his war is the most important liberal, revolutionary U.S. democracy-building project since the Marshall Plan."

"[It is] one of the noblest things this country has ever attempted abroad."

"I think there were four reasons for this war, and I identified with three of them: There was the stated reason, the moral reason, the right reason, and the real reason."

These are actual, real quotes. The best part is, of course in a completely unconventional twist of events, Friedman now wants to leave Iraq because it's cost is too high. Someone viciously supporting the war and then thinking it's too costly? Woah. 

Climate Change 

He thinks we really need to start investing green technology and have a market-based solution to climate change and shocker, get ready for this, we need to break the addiction to foreign oil as well. I think this man deserves a fourth Pulitzer.